JК
A Kiss Of Shadows :: Гамильтон Лорел
Страница: 175 из 338I loved the feel of his arm across my shoulders, wrapping me against his body. My head ended resting against the wonderful softness of the sweater, the firm swell of his chest underneath, and underneath that I could hear the beat of his heart like a thick clock.
I sighed and cuddled against him, wrapping my leg across his so that we were entwined. "You always did cuddle better than anyone else I know," I said.
"That's me—just a big, lovable teddy bear." There was something in his voice that made me look up.
"What's wrong?"
"You never told me you were leaving."
I sat up, his arm still across my shoulders, but the perfect comfort of a second before had been spoiled. Spoiled with accusations, with probably more to come.
"I couldn't risk telling anyone, Galen, you know that. If anyone had suspected that I was running away from the court, I'd have been stopped, or worse."
"Three years, Merry. Three years of not knowing if you were dead or alive."
I started to slide out from under his arm, but he tightened his grip, pulled me against him. "Please, Merry, just let me hold you, let me know you're real."
I let him hold me, but it wasn't comfortable now. No one else would question why I had told no one, why I had contacted no one. Barinthus, Gran, no one, no one but Galen. There were times when I understood why my father had not chosen Galen for my consort. He let emotion rule him, and that was a very dangerous thing.
I finally pulled away. "Galen, you know why I didn't contact you."
He wouldn't meet my eyes. I touched his chin and moved him to look at me. Those green eyes were hurt, holding emotion like a cup of water; you could see all the way to the bottom of Galen's eyes. He was miserably bad at court politics.
"If the queen had suspected that you knew where I was, or anything about it, she would have tortured you."
He grasped my hand, holding it against his face. "I would never have betrayed you."
"I know that, and do you think I could have lived with the thought of you being tortured endlessly while I was safe somewhere else? You had to know nothing, so there would be no reason for her to question you."
"I don't need you to protect me, Merry."
That made me smile. "We protect each other."
He smiled, because he could never go long between smiles. "You're the brains, and I'm the brawn."
I rose on my knees and kissed his forehead. "How have you stayed out of trouble without me to counsel you?"
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in against the line of his body. "With difficulty.
I sighed and cuddled against him, wrapping my leg across his so that we were entwined. "You always did cuddle better than anyone else I know," I said.
"That's me—just a big, lovable teddy bear." There was something in his voice that made me look up.
"What's wrong?"
"You never told me you were leaving."
I sat up, his arm still across my shoulders, but the perfect comfort of a second before had been spoiled. Spoiled with accusations, with probably more to come.
"I couldn't risk telling anyone, Galen, you know that. If anyone had suspected that I was running away from the court, I'd have been stopped, or worse."
"Three years, Merry. Three years of not knowing if you were dead or alive."
I started to slide out from under his arm, but he tightened his grip, pulled me against him. "Please, Merry, just let me hold you, let me know you're real."
I let him hold me, but it wasn't comfortable now. No one else would question why I had told no one, why I had contacted no one. Barinthus, Gran, no one, no one but Galen. There were times when I understood why my father had not chosen Galen for my consort. He let emotion rule him, and that was a very dangerous thing.
I finally pulled away. "Galen, you know why I didn't contact you."
He wouldn't meet my eyes. I touched his chin and moved him to look at me. Those green eyes were hurt, holding emotion like a cup of water; you could see all the way to the bottom of Galen's eyes. He was miserably bad at court politics.
"If the queen had suspected that you knew where I was, or anything about it, she would have tortured you."
He grasped my hand, holding it against his face. "I would never have betrayed you."
"I know that, and do you think I could have lived with the thought of you being tortured endlessly while I was safe somewhere else? You had to know nothing, so there would be no reason for her to question you."
"I don't need you to protect me, Merry."
That made me smile. "We protect each other."
He smiled, because he could never go long between smiles. "You're the brains, and I'm the brawn."
I rose on my knees and kissed his forehead. "How have you stayed out of trouble without me to counsel you?"
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me in against the line of his body. "With difficulty.