JК
Naked Empire :: Goodkind Terry
Страница: 490 из 495After the battle at the fortification, don't you need to balance your gift all the more?"
Richard took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he gazed out over the mountains.
"You see, the thing is," Richard said, "I owe you all an apology. You all listened to me, but I didn't listen to myself.
"Kaja-Rang tried to help me with the words revealed on the statue, the words I told you-Deserve Victory. They were, first of all, meant for me."
"I don't understand," Anson said.
"I told you that your life is your own to live and that you have every right to defend it.
"Yet, I was telling myself that I had to balance the killing I did to defend my life and the lives of my loved ones by not eating meat-in essence, saying my self-defense, my killing of those who attack me and other innocent people, was morally wrong, and so for the killing I'd done I needed to make amends to the magic that helped me by offering it the appeasement of balance."
"But your sword's magic didn't work, either," Jennsen said.
"No, it didn't, and that should have been the thing that made me realize what the problem was, because both my gift and the sword's magic are different entities, yet they reacted logically to the same unreasoned action on my part. The sword's magic began to fail because I myself, by not eating meat, was saying that I did not completely believe that I was justified in using force to stop others who initiate violence.
"The sword's magic functions through the belief structure of the sword's owner; it only works against what the Seeker himself perceives as the enemy. The sword's magic will not work against a friend. That was the key I should have understood.
"When I thought that the use of the sword had to be balanced, I was, in effect, expressing a belief that my actions were in some way unjustified.
Therefore, because I held that remnant of faith in a false concept that had been inculcated in me throughout my life, just as all the people of Bandakar were taught-that killing was always wrong-the sword's magic began to fail me.
"The Sword of Truth's magic, as my gift, could only again be viable when I comprehended-completely-that the magic needs no balance for the killing I've done because the killing I've done is not only moral, but the only moral course of action I could have taken.
"By not eating meat, I was acknowledging that some part of my mind believed the same thing that the people here in Bandakar believed when we first met Owen and his men-that killing is always wrong.
Richard took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he gazed out over the mountains.
"You see, the thing is," Richard said, "I owe you all an apology. You all listened to me, but I didn't listen to myself.
"Kaja-Rang tried to help me with the words revealed on the statue, the words I told you-Deserve Victory. They were, first of all, meant for me."
"I don't understand," Anson said.
"I told you that your life is your own to live and that you have every right to defend it.
"Yet, I was telling myself that I had to balance the killing I did to defend my life and the lives of my loved ones by not eating meat-in essence, saying my self-defense, my killing of those who attack me and other innocent people, was morally wrong, and so for the killing I'd done I needed to make amends to the magic that helped me by offering it the appeasement of balance."
"But your sword's magic didn't work, either," Jennsen said.
"No, it didn't, and that should have been the thing that made me realize what the problem was, because both my gift and the sword's magic are different entities, yet they reacted logically to the same unreasoned action on my part. The sword's magic began to fail because I myself, by not eating meat, was saying that I did not completely believe that I was justified in using force to stop others who initiate violence.
"The sword's magic functions through the belief structure of the sword's owner; it only works against what the Seeker himself perceives as the enemy. The sword's magic will not work against a friend. That was the key I should have understood.
"When I thought that the use of the sword had to be balanced, I was, in effect, expressing a belief that my actions were in some way unjustified.
Therefore, because I held that remnant of faith in a false concept that had been inculcated in me throughout my life, just as all the people of Bandakar were taught-that killing was always wrong-the sword's magic began to fail me.
"The Sword of Truth's magic, as my gift, could only again be viable when I comprehended-completely-that the magic needs no balance for the killing I've done because the killing I've done is not only moral, but the only moral course of action I could have taken.
"By not eating meat, I was acknowledging that some part of my mind believed the same thing that the people here in Bandakar believed when we first met Owen and his men-that killing is always wrong.