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Sween Myth-tery of Life :: Asprin Robert
Страница: 65 из 110Everybody knows that. The more you drink, the more it affects your judgment. Sayin' how much is too much isn't easy, though, seein' as how it varies from individual to individual depending on such factors as weight, temperament, etc."
"But if it affects your judgment," I said, "how can you tell whether or not your judgment is right when you say it's not too much?"
"That's the rub," Nunzio shrugged. "Some say if you have the sense to question it, you aren't drinkin' too much. Others say that if you have to ask, then you ARE drinkin' too much. One thing I do know is that a lot of people who drink too much are sure they don't have a problem."
"So how do you tell?"
"Well," he said, rubbing his chin, "probably the best way is to ask a friend whose judgment you trust."
I closed my eyes and fought for patience.
"That's what I THOUGHT I was doing, Nunzio. I'm asking YOU. Do YOU think I'm drinking too much?"
"That isn't important," he said, blandly. "It isn't a question of if I think you're drinkin' too much, it's if YOU think you're drinkin' too much."
"NUNZIO," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm asking what YOUR opinion is."
He averted his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.
"Sorry, Boss. Like I say, this isn't easy for me."
He rubbed his chin again.
"One thing I WILL say is that I think you're drinkin' at the wrong time ... and I don't mean too early or late in the day. I mean at the wrong time in your life."
"I don't understand," I frowned.
"Ya see, Boss, drinkin' usually acts like a magnifyin' glass. It exaggerates everything. Some people drink trying' to change their mood, but they're kiddin' themselves. It don't work that way. It don't change what is, it emphasizes it. If you drink when you're happy, then you get REAL happy. Know what I mean? But if you drink when you're down, then you get REAL down, REAL fast."
He gave another heavy sigh.
"Now, you've been goin' through some rough times lately, and have some tough decisions to make. To me, that's not a real good time to be drinkin'. What you need right now is a clear head. What you DON'T need is somethin' to exaggerate any doubts you've got about yourself or your judgment."
It was my turn to rub my chin thoughtfully.
"That makes sense" I said. "Thanks, Nunzio."
"Hey. I just had an idea," he said brightly, apparently buoyed by his success. "There's a real easy way to tell if you're drinkin' too much. Just lay off the sauce for a while. Then see if there's any big change in your thinkin' or judgment.
"But if it affects your judgment," I said, "how can you tell whether or not your judgment is right when you say it's not too much?"
"That's the rub," Nunzio shrugged. "Some say if you have the sense to question it, you aren't drinkin' too much. Others say that if you have to ask, then you ARE drinkin' too much. One thing I do know is that a lot of people who drink too much are sure they don't have a problem."
"So how do you tell?"
"Well," he said, rubbing his chin, "probably the best way is to ask a friend whose judgment you trust."
I closed my eyes and fought for patience.
"That's what I THOUGHT I was doing, Nunzio. I'm asking YOU. Do YOU think I'm drinking too much?"
"That isn't important," he said, blandly. "It isn't a question of if I think you're drinkin' too much, it's if YOU think you're drinkin' too much."
"NUNZIO," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm asking what YOUR opinion is."
He averted his eyes and shifted uncomfortably.
"Sorry, Boss. Like I say, this isn't easy for me."
He rubbed his chin again.
"One thing I WILL say is that I think you're drinkin' at the wrong time ... and I don't mean too early or late in the day. I mean at the wrong time in your life."
"I don't understand," I frowned.
"Ya see, Boss, drinkin' usually acts like a magnifyin' glass. It exaggerates everything. Some people drink trying' to change their mood, but they're kiddin' themselves. It don't work that way. It don't change what is, it emphasizes it. If you drink when you're happy, then you get REAL happy. Know what I mean? But if you drink when you're down, then you get REAL down, REAL fast."
He gave another heavy sigh.
"Now, you've been goin' through some rough times lately, and have some tough decisions to make. To me, that's not a real good time to be drinkin'. What you need right now is a clear head. What you DON'T need is somethin' to exaggerate any doubts you've got about yourself or your judgment."
It was my turn to rub my chin thoughtfully.
"That makes sense" I said. "Thanks, Nunzio."
"Hey. I just had an idea," he said brightly, apparently buoyed by his success. "There's a real easy way to tell if you're drinkin' too much. Just lay off the sauce for a while. Then see if there's any big change in your thinkin' or judgment.