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The Harlequin :: Гамильтон Лорел
Страница: 35 из 330I can't go years without having this need met, Anita.»
«It might last years; you still talk about us like we won't last.»
«Years is lasting,» he said, «and everyone gets tired of me, eventually.»
I didn't know what to say to that. «I'm not tired of you. Frustrated, puzzled as hell, but not tired.»
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. «I know that, and if I didn't feel secure enough, I wouldn't make any demands. I'd just go on being unhappy about this, but if you love me, then I can ask for what I want.»
If you love me , he'd said. Jesus. «It must be true love, Nathaniel, because I'm not booting your ass to the curb for this.»
«For what, asking for my sexual needs to be met?»
«Stop, just stop.» I rested my forehead against the steering wheel and tried to think. «Can we please drop this for now, while I think about it?»
«Sure.» His voice sounded hurt.
But his voice could sound hurt; I was out of my depth. «How long have you been saving this conversation up?» I asked, still resting against the wheel.
«I kept waiting for there to be a quiet time, when you weren't ass-deep in alligators, but…»
«But I'm always ass-deep in alligators.»
«Yeah,» he said.
I rose and nodded. That was fair. «I'll think about what you said, and that's all I've got tonight, okay?»
«That's wonderful. I mean it. I was afraid…»
I frowned at him. «You really thought I'd dump you because of this?»
He shrugged and wouldn't look at me. «You don't like demands, Anita, not from any of the men in your life.»
I unbuckled my seat belt and slid over so I could turn him to look at me. «I can't promise that this won't eventually break me, but I can't imagine not waking up beside you most mornings. I can't imagine not having you puttering in our kitchen. Hell, it's more your kitchen than mine. I don't cook.»
He kissed me and drew back with that smile that made his face shine with happiness. I loved that smile. «Our kitchen. I've never had an 'our' anything before.»
I hugged him, partially because I wanted to, and partially to hide the expression on my face. On one hand, I loved him to pieces; on the other hand, I wished he had come with an instruction book. More than almost any other man in my life, he confused me. Richard hurt me more, but most of the time I understood why. I didn't like it, but I understood his motivation. Nathaniel was so far outside my comfort zone sometimes that I had no clue.
«It might last years; you still talk about us like we won't last.»
«Years is lasting,» he said, «and everyone gets tired of me, eventually.»
I didn't know what to say to that. «I'm not tired of you. Frustrated, puzzled as hell, but not tired.»
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. «I know that, and if I didn't feel secure enough, I wouldn't make any demands. I'd just go on being unhappy about this, but if you love me, then I can ask for what I want.»
If you love me , he'd said. Jesus. «It must be true love, Nathaniel, because I'm not booting your ass to the curb for this.»
«For what, asking for my sexual needs to be met?»
«Stop, just stop.» I rested my forehead against the steering wheel and tried to think. «Can we please drop this for now, while I think about it?»
«Sure.» His voice sounded hurt.
But his voice could sound hurt; I was out of my depth. «How long have you been saving this conversation up?» I asked, still resting against the wheel.
«I kept waiting for there to be a quiet time, when you weren't ass-deep in alligators, but…»
«But I'm always ass-deep in alligators.»
«Yeah,» he said.
I rose and nodded. That was fair. «I'll think about what you said, and that's all I've got tonight, okay?»
«That's wonderful. I mean it. I was afraid…»
I frowned at him. «You really thought I'd dump you because of this?»
He shrugged and wouldn't look at me. «You don't like demands, Anita, not from any of the men in your life.»
I unbuckled my seat belt and slid over so I could turn him to look at me. «I can't promise that this won't eventually break me, but I can't imagine not waking up beside you most mornings. I can't imagine not having you puttering in our kitchen. Hell, it's more your kitchen than mine. I don't cook.»
He kissed me and drew back with that smile that made his face shine with happiness. I loved that smile. «Our kitchen. I've never had an 'our' anything before.»
I hugged him, partially because I wanted to, and partially to hide the expression on my face. On one hand, I loved him to pieces; on the other hand, I wished he had come with an instruction book. More than almost any other man in my life, he confused me. Richard hurt me more, but most of the time I understood why. I didn't like it, but I understood his motivation. Nathaniel was so far outside my comfort zone sometimes that I had no clue.