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Breaking Dawn :: Meyer Stephenie
Страница: 101 из 429Bella’s life means nothing to her.”
The noise coming from my throat sounded like I was choking.
What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me ? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn’t mind being shared?
“Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.”
“That’s the craziest thing you’ve said yet,” I mumbled.
“She loves you.”
“Not enough.”
“She’s ready to die to have a child. Maybe she’d accept something less extreme.”
“Don’t you know her at all?”
“I know, I know. It’s going to take a lot of convincing. That’s why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense.”
I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.
So tempting.
I didn’t want to consider, didn’t want to imagine, but the images came anyway. I’d fantasized about Bella that way too many times, back when there was still a possibility of us , and then long after it was clear that the fantasies would only leave festering sores because there was no possibility, none at all. I hadn’t been able to help myself then. I couldn’t stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name…
Worse still, this new image I’d never had before, one that by all rights shouldn’t have existed for me. Not yet. An image I knew I wouldn’t’ve suffered over for years if he hadn’t shoved it in my head now. But it stuck there, winding threads through my brain like a weed—poisonous and unkillable. Bella, healthy and glowing, so different than now, but something the same: her body, not distorted, changed in a more natural way. Round with my child.
I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind. “Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?”
“At least try.”
I shook my head fast. He waited, ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my thoughts.
“Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?”
“I’ve been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn’t know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn’t listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn’t come today. But it’s hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition… it changes so fast. The thing is… growing. Swiftly. I can’t be away from her now.
The noise coming from my throat sounded like I was choking.
What was he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby? With me ? What? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she wouldn’t mind being shared?
“Whichever. Whatever keeps her alive.”
“That’s the craziest thing you’ve said yet,” I mumbled.
“She loves you.”
“Not enough.”
“She’s ready to die to have a child. Maybe she’d accept something less extreme.”
“Don’t you know her at all?”
“I know, I know. It’s going to take a lot of convincing. That’s why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense.”
I couldn’t think about what he was suggesting. It was too much. Impossible. Wrong. Sick. Borrowing Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie? So messed up.
So tempting.
I didn’t want to consider, didn’t want to imagine, but the images came anyway. I’d fantasized about Bella that way too many times, back when there was still a possibility of us , and then long after it was clear that the fantasies would only leave festering sores because there was no possibility, none at all. I hadn’t been able to help myself then. I couldn’t stop myself now. Bella in my arms, Bella sighing my name…
Worse still, this new image I’d never had before, one that by all rights shouldn’t have existed for me. Not yet. An image I knew I wouldn’t’ve suffered over for years if he hadn’t shoved it in my head now. But it stuck there, winding threads through my brain like a weed—poisonous and unkillable. Bella, healthy and glowing, so different than now, but something the same: her body, not distorted, changed in a more natural way. Round with my child.
I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind. “Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?”
“At least try.”
I shook my head fast. He waited, ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my thoughts.
“Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?”
“I’ve been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn’t know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn’t listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn’t come today. But it’s hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition… it changes so fast. The thing is… growing. Swiftly. I can’t be away from her now.