JК
Danse Macabre :: Гамильтон Лорел
Страница: 425 из 427«Yeah, that's what I mean?»
«No, save once.»
«Once?»
«There was a lord from whom Belle desired money and land. He had been diagnosed with a cancer. He was a strong, proud man. He did not wish to die in pain and sickness. He requested I kill him. He wished to die by pleasure, instead of pain. He also felt that if I took his life, it was not suicide, so his soul was strangely safe.»
He told the story in an empty voice, as if it meant nothing to him. It was the kind of voice that people use about trauma or tragedy when they haven't dealt with it yet.
«You liked him,» I said.
«He was a decent man.»
«I don't think you're a monster.»
«Why am I not a monster for killing someone to give myself pleasure?»
«Put that way, you would be, but that's not what you did. It's a loop of pleasure, Asher. It's not your pleasure, but hers, mine. I could have said no. There was a point where I knew it was too much, that we should stop.»
«I had rolled your mind. You had no free will.»
«You can roll me, but I don't stay rolled if I don't want to, not anymore. I didn't want to stop, Asher. Do you think I'm a monster for saying it was one of the most amazing orgasmic experiences that I've ever had?»
«No, not a monster.»
«We can have intercourse together alone sometimes, but no biting while we're alone.»
«You do not trust me.»
«I don't trust either of us,» I said.
He almost smiled. «I nearly killed you. I nearly spilled all that precious blood. The sofa had to be destroyed, the carpet taken up. I almost killed you, Anita, not for food, but for pleasure.»
«You were in the middle of a major power-up, Asher. An animal to call, at long last.»
He glanced behind at the waiting guards. «Hyenas, yes.»
«Jean-Claude says that the first time any power kicks in, it's always hard to control.»
Asher took my hand. «I would not trade your love for a thousand powers. I would not trade a single strand of your hair for any territory.» His eyes were glittery, not with power, but tears.
«I believe you.»
«Your new laws say we are citizens, but we are monsters, Anita. If I had killed you with the birth of this new power, I would have followed you soon after.»
«You're saying you would have killed yourself?»
He nodded. «I could not have borne it.»
«I don't want you dead.»
«Nor I you.» He knelt and laid his head on my hand. «It was not blood that brought my power, Anita.