JК
Danse Macabre :: Гамильтон Лорел
Страница: 15 из 427«How would you feel if I said stuff like that to Louie?»
«You can't call him a stripper, or an ex-prostitute, because he's not.» The moment she said it, her face showed me she knew she shouldn't have. «I didn't mean…«she began, but it wasn't me that put her in her place, it was Nathaniel.
«I know why you call me names,» he said, and he moved in closer, not touching, but invading the hell out of her personal space. «I see the way you watch me. You want me, but not like Anita does. You just want me for a night, or a weekend, or a month, then you'd be done like you're always done with everybody. I know why you don't want to commit to Louie.» I'd never seen him like this, relentless. I actually made a small move, as if I'd stop him, but Micah caught my eye, and shook his head. His face was serious, almost grim. I guess he was right. Nathaniel had earned this, and Ronnie had, too. But it wasn't going to end anywhere I wanted to be.
He said again, «I know why you don't want to commit to Louie.»
She said in a small, weak voice, «Why?»
«Because it torments you to know that you will never know how I am in bed.»
«Oh,» she said in a voice that was almost her own, «so I'm not wanting Louie because you're such a stud?»
«Not me, Ronnie, but the next me. The next guy you get obsessed about. Not love obsessed, but I-wonder-what-he'd-be-like-in-bed obsessed. And you've always been beautiful enough, hot enough, to get anyone you've ever wanted, right?»
She stared at him as if he were something horrible. He prompted her, «Right?»
She nodded, and whispered, «Yes.»
«You knew Anita wasn't fucking me, so you thought if she didn't want me maybe it would be okay, but I didn't pick up on any of it. I ignored the hints, so you started to get mean about it. Maybe you didn't even know why you were doing it.» He leaned in so close that she moved back until her butt hit the cabinet, and she had nowhere else to go. «You kept belittling me in front of Anita, and worse behind her back, as if you'd convince her she didn't want to keep me. That I wasn't good enough to keep. Real enough to keep. Have you ever set your sights on anyone and not fucked them, at least once?»
She gave a little trembling shake of her head. She was biting her lower lip, and tears gleamed unshed in her eyes.
«Then suddenly, Anita is going to keep me, and you don't poach your friends' guys. That is a rule. You thought I was just food, and you could have me, at least once. Suddenly I'm a boyfriend, and it's against your rules to try for me, but you still wanted me. Just once. Just once to feel me inside you…»
I called it then.
«You can't call him a stripper, or an ex-prostitute, because he's not.» The moment she said it, her face showed me she knew she shouldn't have. «I didn't mean…«she began, but it wasn't me that put her in her place, it was Nathaniel.
«I know why you call me names,» he said, and he moved in closer, not touching, but invading the hell out of her personal space. «I see the way you watch me. You want me, but not like Anita does. You just want me for a night, or a weekend, or a month, then you'd be done like you're always done with everybody. I know why you don't want to commit to Louie.» I'd never seen him like this, relentless. I actually made a small move, as if I'd stop him, but Micah caught my eye, and shook his head. His face was serious, almost grim. I guess he was right. Nathaniel had earned this, and Ronnie had, too. But it wasn't going to end anywhere I wanted to be.
He said again, «I know why you don't want to commit to Louie.»
She said in a small, weak voice, «Why?»
«Because it torments you to know that you will never know how I am in bed.»
«Oh,» she said in a voice that was almost her own, «so I'm not wanting Louie because you're such a stud?»
«Not me, Ronnie, but the next me. The next guy you get obsessed about. Not love obsessed, but I-wonder-what-he'd-be-like-in-bed obsessed. And you've always been beautiful enough, hot enough, to get anyone you've ever wanted, right?»
She stared at him as if he were something horrible. He prompted her, «Right?»
She nodded, and whispered, «Yes.»
«You knew Anita wasn't fucking me, so you thought if she didn't want me maybe it would be okay, but I didn't pick up on any of it. I ignored the hints, so you started to get mean about it. Maybe you didn't even know why you were doing it.» He leaned in so close that she moved back until her butt hit the cabinet, and she had nowhere else to go. «You kept belittling me in front of Anita, and worse behind her back, as if you'd convince her she didn't want to keep me. That I wasn't good enough to keep. Real enough to keep. Have you ever set your sights on anyone and not fucked them, at least once?»
She gave a little trembling shake of her head. She was biting her lower lip, and tears gleamed unshed in her eyes.
«Then suddenly, Anita is going to keep me, and you don't poach your friends' guys. That is a rule. You thought I was just food, and you could have me, at least once. Suddenly I'm a boyfriend, and it's against your rules to try for me, but you still wanted me. Just once. Just once to feel me inside you…»
I called it then.