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«I missed lastmonth. I'd planned on finding out for sure before I told anyone.» I sighed and crossed my arms under my breasts. «I haven't bought a pregnancy test, because I wasn't sure how to take it without one of you finding out.»
Nathaniel came to stand beside me, but to one side so he wouldn't block my view of Micah. «Anita, you shouldn't have to go through this alone. At least one of us should be holding your hand while you wait for the little strip to turn colors.»
I looked up at him. «You sound like you've done this before.»
«Once; she wasn't sure it was mine, but I was the only friend she had to hold her hand.»
«I thought I was your first girlfriend.»
«She found out I'd never been with a girl, so she took care of it.» His voice made it seem utterly matter-of-fact. «I wasn't very good at it, but she came up pregnant. It was probably one of her customers, but it could have been mine.»
«Customers?» Micah made it a question.
«She was in the game, like I was then.»
I knew «the game» meant she'd been a prostitute, but «the game» usually meant when he was on the street. He'd been off the street by sixteen. «How old were you?» I asked.
«Thirteen,» he said.
The look on my face made him laugh. «Anita, I'd never been with a girl, but I'd seen a lot of men. She thought I should know what it's like to be with a girl. She was my friend, protected me sometimes, when she could.»
«How old was she?» Micah asked.
«Fifteen.»
«Jesus,» I said.
He smiled, that gentle, almost condescending smile that always let me know what a sheltered life I'd led.
«And she got pregnant,» Micah said, softly.
Nathaniel nodded. «The odds were that it wasn't mine. We had sex twice. Once so I could see if I liked it. The second time so I could get better at it.» His face softened in a way I'd never seen before.
«You loved her,» I said, voice as gentle as I could make it.
He nodded. «My first crush.»
«What was her name?» Micah asked.
«Jeanie, her name was Jeanie.»
I almost didn't ask, but it was the most he'd ever talked about that part of his life, so I asked. «What happened?»
«I held her hand while the test turned positive. Her pimp paid for an abortion. I went with her. Me, and another girl.» He shrugged, and the soft light faded in his eyes. «She couldn't have kept it. I knew that. We all knew it.» He looked suddenly sad, lost.
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