JК
Danse Macabre :: Гамильтон Лорел
Страница: 343 из 427Nathaniel brushed my arm, and I movedaway. I was shaking my head, and wasn't sure why.
«This does not have to be a disaster, ma petite .»
«Yes,» I said, «it does.»
«Anita,» Micah said, «I don't care that it was vampire magic that brought us together. We're together, that's what matters.» He held his hand out to me.
I shook my head. «No, because if you touch me, I'll give up. I won't fight. I can never win a fight when you touch me. The effect you have on my body overwhelms everything else.»
«And that's a bad thing?» He made it a question, his hand still held out toward me.
«I wondered why your touching me always overwhelmed me, and now we know. It's vampire powers. It's mind tricks. It's an aftereffect of the ardeur , Micah.»
He let his hand drop slowly. «I love the way your body reacts to mine, Anita.» He closed his eyes, hugged his hands into fists in front of his chest. «I abso-fucking love that you react to me like I'm intoxicating.» He opened his eyes and gave me the full stare out of those yellow-green kitty-cat eyes. «Don't you love it, too?»
I opened my mouth to say no, but it would have been a lie. The vampires could sense lies, but wereanimals could smell them. I told the truth. «Yes, I loved it.»
He shook his head. «Not loved, not past tense. You love it. You love it so much, you're afraid to let me touch you now.»
«Please, Micah, don't do this.»
«Do what? Make you happy? Make us both happier than we've ever been for longer than we've ever been happy in our entire lives? We're both almost thirty, Anita; it doesn't get better than what we have. We've all tried other people, other ways of living. This works for us. Don't throw it away because it started with the ardeur .» He took a step toward me. «We always knew that you and I began with the ardeur , Anita.»
«Maybe, but not all of it. Not…«I turned away from him. I couldn't keep being this stubborn and look at the anguish on his face. But looking away put me looking at Nathaniel. It wasn't an improvement. First, he was nude, and any of the men I loved only had to take their clothes off to win most arguments with me. I might never admit that out loud, but it was the truth. Nathaniel nude was a treat, but what made it even harder was the look on his face. So hurt, so terribly hurt.
«Anita,» he said, «would you really throw us away? Could you just walk away? Just like that?»
My throat was tight, but not with panic anymore. The panic had company now.
«This does not have to be a disaster, ma petite .»
«Yes,» I said, «it does.»
«Anita,» Micah said, «I don't care that it was vampire magic that brought us together. We're together, that's what matters.» He held his hand out to me.
I shook my head. «No, because if you touch me, I'll give up. I won't fight. I can never win a fight when you touch me. The effect you have on my body overwhelms everything else.»
«And that's a bad thing?» He made it a question, his hand still held out toward me.
«I wondered why your touching me always overwhelmed me, and now we know. It's vampire powers. It's mind tricks. It's an aftereffect of the ardeur , Micah.»
He let his hand drop slowly. «I love the way your body reacts to mine, Anita.» He closed his eyes, hugged his hands into fists in front of his chest. «I abso-fucking love that you react to me like I'm intoxicating.» He opened his eyes and gave me the full stare out of those yellow-green kitty-cat eyes. «Don't you love it, too?»
I opened my mouth to say no, but it would have been a lie. The vampires could sense lies, but wereanimals could smell them. I told the truth. «Yes, I loved it.»
He shook his head. «Not loved, not past tense. You love it. You love it so much, you're afraid to let me touch you now.»
«Please, Micah, don't do this.»
«Do what? Make you happy? Make us both happier than we've ever been for longer than we've ever been happy in our entire lives? We're both almost thirty, Anita; it doesn't get better than what we have. We've all tried other people, other ways of living. This works for us. Don't throw it away because it started with the ardeur .» He took a step toward me. «We always knew that you and I began with the ardeur , Anita.»
«Maybe, but not all of it. Not…«I turned away from him. I couldn't keep being this stubborn and look at the anguish on his face. But looking away put me looking at Nathaniel. It wasn't an improvement. First, he was nude, and any of the men I loved only had to take their clothes off to win most arguments with me. I might never admit that out loud, but it was the truth. Nathaniel nude was a treat, but what made it even harder was the look on his face. So hurt, so terribly hurt.
«Anita,» he said, «would you really throw us away? Could you just walk away? Just like that?»
My throat was tight, but not with panic anymore. The panic had company now.